WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
