Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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