I seem to have left my pride at pride
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
please don't ironically join a cult
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