Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
