I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
