I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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