Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
