is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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