If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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