omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
They took my balls.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
