Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
