i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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