I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
