Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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