i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
