hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
3pm strippers are depressing
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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