Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
