Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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