Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
