Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
