Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
