Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
