I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
