In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
