Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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