This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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