totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
