Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
