Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
