drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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