i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
