can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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