yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
