I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
