i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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