problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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