I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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