Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
