Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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