Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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