2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
