i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
