how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just had sex on a roof
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
