If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
