Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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