her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
