u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
