I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
