He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
