ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
