She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
